


hush now, my angel

by saemije



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, but he loves seungcheol more, detective!jeonghan, im sorry, jeonghan centric, jeonghan loves coffee, this does not have a happy ending, youtuber!seungcheol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saemije/pseuds/saemije
Summary: after two years of no contact, jeonghan wasn't expecting to meet his ex-boyfriend again in a convenience store.especially not when he's lost, dripping wet, and clutching a box of band-aids and a cup of coffee.but hey, he supposes he's just lucky today.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	hush now, my angel

**Author's Note:**

> listen to jp saxe's 'if the world was ending' while reading this :))

Jeonghan sighed, running a hand through his hair for what seemed like the umpteenth time. The stockpile of folders on his desk loomed over him like a mountain; the amount of cases unusually high this week, with a lot of missing person reports and bank robberies occurring in different sectors of the city. He lets out another sigh, and decides it’s time for another coffee break. 

“Hey, Han. Tough week?” Joshua, one of the IT guys and Jeonghan’s best friend, greets him once he steps foot in the pantry. 

“Are my dark circles that deep?” Jeonghan asks absent-mindedly, his hands flying up to his face as he walks towards the coffee machine.

“Nah, you just have the 5 o’clock shadow on your face,” His friend retorts, taking a sip of his tea. Jeonghan thinks it’s so _typical_ of Joshua to try and make himself look better than everyone else in the station by always bringing his ridiculously expensive black tea to work, refusing to drink their cheap instant coffee, and having his little wooden box of teabags always by his desk. He guesses that’s why they’re best friends after all. 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind as I look through the murder cases assigned to me and get ideas on how to murder _you_.”

Joshua throws his head back and gives a hearty laugh like he’s just heard the funniest thing in the world. When he pulls back, he gives Jeonghan the coldest look he’s ever seen on him and says: “As if you can ever gather the guts to kill me.”

“If you keep on distracting me from getting my cup of coffee, I might just will.”

Joshua finally steps away from the coffee machine - not that that bastard would ever lay his hands on it anyway; he just loves annoying Jeonghan - and the tired detective finally gets his 8th cup of joe. 

Jeonghan lets out a dreamy sigh, immediately feeling the caffeine kick back in his body and his mind de-fuzz, the gears slowly grinding up again. Joshua just looks at him in disgust, his face saying something along the lines of _how can you ever enjoy that nasty-ass cup of ground beans?_ He opens his mouth to say something, but Jeonghan beats him to it.

“Don’t you even dare try to be condescending about my beverage choices; at least I don’t drink boiled grass.” Then proceeds to take another long sip, nearly burning his tongue, but who cares? This is basically a car battery in a cup: giving him the shitload of energy he needs if he wants to make it to the end of the day without passing out. 

Joshua scoffs, which eventually melts into a soft, sympathetic smile at his friend. Jeonghan returns just as much, knowing exactly what the former had meant, and voices out his response. “Yes, I know, don’t overwork myself too much.” 

“So you aren’t an idiot after all.” Joshua says as he takes another sip from his cup of grass water. Jeonghan cringes slightly at the look of pure bliss on his friend’s face, but lets it go; they might be best friends but _boy_ , do they have their differences. 

“I’m the highest paid detective in Seoul, jackass. Being an idiot isn’t one of my priorities right now.” 

“It sure is one of your priorities when you get wasted, though.” Joshua leans over and just guffaws at himself. 

Jeonghan rolls his eyes so far up his head that for a split-second, he was scared that they wouldn’t roll back down. “That’s not even funny.”

When Joshua finally composes himself, he gives his friend a cheeky smile and a pat on the shoulder. “Come on, I’m just messing with you. Lighten up! Like you said, you’re the highest paid detective here, I’m sure you’ll breeze right through those cases in no time.”

-

If there’s one thing Jeonghan knows about Joshua, it’s that his best friend is always right.

Miraculously, the mountain of case files slowly dwindles down into two, sad-looking folders on his desk. Both were just cases of pickpockets around Gangnam and Shincheon, and Jeonghan decides he can deal with them later. He takes his time and stretches out his limbs, hearing a satisfying pop as he cracks his neck from left to right. 

He gets up from his seat to stretch his back, yawning as he reaches his arms up above his head. He closes his eyes for a second but immediately opens them again as he feels fingers poke his stomach. 

“Stop it, Jun.” 

The finger poking stops and the culprit looks up at him from where he’s crouching behind his desk. “You’re no fun, hyung.” 

Jeonghan stifles another yawn as he sits back down his chair. “Don’t you and Hao have a date tonight?”

Jun suddenly stands up, instantly regretting it as he comes tumbling back down on the floor afterwards. 

“Is it Wednesday today?” He mumbles from where he’s face-planted onto the floor. Jeonghan seriously thinks this man is a missing comic book character somewhere, because how can someone be that _weird_?

“Yes, you dummy. Hao’s probably been waiting outside for an hour now.” 

A sudden rush of wind brushes past him as he hears footsteps running to the front doors and a _“Bye-hyung-see-you-tomorrow-gotta-go!"_

Jeonghan just gives out a weak chuckle, then turns back to his desk. The two folders are still there; still static and unmoving, the logo of the SMPD staring right back at him. 

He must’ve blacked out for a while, because the next thing he remembers is two fingers clamping down on his nose and his lungs feeling like they’re on fire. 

Jeonghan wakes up from his trance, shoving the fingers and the owner away from him and trying to get as much oxygen into his body as he can. He hears the laughter of his best friend and haves an internal battle on whether or not he’ll be caught if he suddenly decides to murder someone tonight. 

Once his breathing evenly again and the laughter died down, he shoots the meanest, iciest glare he can at Joshua, who just raises his brow at him and takes a sip from his foofoo-ass lightning blue _Hydroflask_ , which is probably still filled with that god-awful boiled grass. 

“Any particular reason why you almost suffocated me to death?” 

Joshua takes another long, annoying sip from his tumbler, batting his eyelashes at Jeonghan the whole time, before finally, _finally_ answering. 

“Shaking you didn’t work.”

For what seemed like the millionth time today, Jeonghan lets out a heavy sigh and rubs his face with his hands. He’s seriously considering just strangling the tea-drinking daylights out of his friend, when said friend suddenly lets out a squeal and starts jumping up and down like a 10 year-old girl. 

“S.Coups is releasing a new album!” Joshua nearly shouts, a huge difference from the guy that just tried to kill Jeonghan a few minutes ago. 

“Who?” Not that he really cared, but Jeonghan tries to be a good friend when he can.

Joshua, eh, not so much. 

“Dumbass! That guy that I’ve been talking about for months now, remember? The gamer guy turned rapper?”

Jeonghan tries _really_ hard not to roll his eyes right now. “ _Again_ , who?”

His friend, on the other hand, doesn’t hold back from rolling his eyes, and almost ends up smacking Jeonghan in the face with his phone. 

In front of him is a screenshot of a tweet. 

**“Hope you guys are ready! Dropping on the 8th.”** is the caption along with a photo of someone wearing headphones, sitting in what looks to be a small studio, red-tinted lights showering him in a warm glow. The man has big, bright eyes, and his smile-

His _smile_. 

Cheeky, gummy, and very, very pink. 

And soft. 

Jeonghan knows that smile, those lips, those eyes, very well. 

He’s had enough. 

Jeonghan all but shoves Joshua’s phone away, getting up and grabbing his coat without another word. His friend yells and goes after him, but Jeonghan just pushes him away and manages to mumble something about needing a walk to clear his head. 

Once he exits the double doors and has gotten a significant amount of distance between him and the station, Jeonghan just freezes. 

He hasn’t seen that smile in nearly two years. 

It’s still the same; bright and dreamy and full of charm. 

Much like the person he fell in love with. 

Much like the person he was still in love with- 

No. He can’t. 

He forces his feet to move, to go anywhere, anything to distract him from his thoughts.

From his screaming heart. 

-

_ Jeonghan grins at the paper bag in his hand. He just knows Seungcheol will freak out the moment he sees it, he’s been hinting at getting that new game for weeks now.  _

_ Once he opens the door to their shared apartment, he’s already met with shouts of both joy and despair, along with the rapid clicks of a computer mouse.  _

_ Jeonghan notices the dirty pair of sneakers at the doorway and smiles. Wonwoo must’ve come over.  _

_ “You fucking cheater! I said time out!” _

_ “Hyung, how can I  _ not _ kill you when you’re out in the open like that?" _

_ His suspicions are correct, as he walks into the living room and sees two people sitting in front of the large desktop in the corner of the room. The younger (and eviler) of the pair seems to be winning, judging by the endless chain of curses spewing out of his boyfriend’s mouth.  _

_ Jeonghan decides to let them be, and heads into their bedroom. Once he’d changed into sweats and one of Cheol’s hoodies, he heads back into the living room to see his boyfriend cleaning up the empty cup ramen containers and mugs he and Wonwoo had used.  _

_ “Oh hey babe! Didn’t notice you get in, sorry. Wonwoo just left.” Seungcheol gave him another one of those charming grins, and Jeonghan felt his knees weaken at the sight.  _

_ “It’s fine, I got back like ten minutes ago. Did you see the bag on the kitchen counter?”  _

_ The older raises a single brow at him then proceeds to walk to the kitchen, Jeonghan in tow. He felt his heart quicken in pace, the anxiety and anticipation of how his significant other would react to his present already making his stomach do somersaults. _

_ When Seungcheol spots the bag and sees the logo on printed on the front of it, he suddenly spins around and faces Jeonghan, eyes wide and shiny and very pretty.  _

_ “You  _ didn’t _.” _

_ Jeonghan just shrugs, but inside he’s already squealing in three different octaves at how happy the love of his life looks like right now. “Better open it to find out." _

_ Just as he finished his sentence, Seungcheol grabs the paper bag from the counter and nearly rips it apart, letting out a shout of joy as he’s met with what he had wished for.  _

_ “I can’t believe you actually got it! I thought you’d just blocked out my whining all those weeks!”  _

_ “I did. I just happened to pass by the store on my way home and I saw it in the window, so I got it to stop all your whining.” _

_ Seungcheol gives a scoff and glares at him at first, but his features immediately soften afterwards. He gives Jeonghan the sweetest smile and slowly walks towards him. With every step, Jeonghan felt his heart beat faster and his smile grow bigger. _

_ “Thank you, really. You make me so happy.” _

_ Jeonghan returns the smile and hooks him arms around Seungcheol’s neck, and gives him a peck on the lips. How they manage to always taste like strawberry, he’ll never know.  _

_ “I know. You make me so happy, too. I just wanted to return the favour.”  _

_ Seungcheol smiles down at him again, those beautiful pink lips never leaving Jeonghan’s sight. He feels his heart flutter and flap in his chest as they close the distance between them again, his mind filled with nothing but warmth and the taste of strawberry. _

-

He doesn’t know how long he’s been walking, but judging by his aching feet and the blisters he can already feel forming, he’s probably been out for like an hour. 

He takes in a quick sweep of his surroundings, and comes to the conclusion that he has absolutely no idea where he is. There’s a FamilyMart on the corner up ahead, so he can probably just ask for directions on how to get back to the station and face the never-ending wrath of Joshua once he arrives. 

Jeonghan walks sluggishly to the convenience store, wincing every other step because he decided to wear his new shoes today and skip the socks because _‘today’s gonna be a great day!’_

What a great day indeed. 

He feels something drop onto his head, then suddenly it’s pouring cats and dogs. 

Jeonghan doesn’t even remember the searing pain from the blisters on his feet as he fucking _Naruto_ runs his way to the front of the store. 

He shivers as he finally gets under the small roof by the doors, the ache and pain of the blisters once again making their presence known. He checks his wallet to make sure nothing important (aka, his pictures of Joshua and his family) got wet. 

Jeonghan checks his phone next, not surprised at the amount of missed calls and texts he has from his best friend. He’ll deal with that later. 

He is surprised though, to see that it was already 8:39, about an hour and a half since he left the station. 

Jeonghan sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair, trying to detangle most of it before giving up. He really needs a haircut. 

He realises the rain probably won’t stop until later, so he turns around and walks into the store, thinking that he needs to buy band-aids anyways. 

After grabbing the nearest box of band-aids - of course, he had to get the ones with the angel design - he ventures off into the beverage aisle, wanting nothing more than a warm cup of coffee. 

When he finally warms up a bit, since the convenience store also having its air conditioning on the highest setting didn’t help the slightest, he turns back around to pay for his stuff. 

Jeonghan just wasn’t expecting to be greeted by the walking, talking, breathing embodiment of his literal worst nightmare. 

“Hannie?”

-

_ “Cheolie! I’m here!”  _

_ Jeonghan toes off his shoes just as he hears a loud cough come from the bedroom.  _

_ He hurriedly makes his way through the hallway of Seungcheol's apartment and all but runs into the bedroom, being met with the sight of his best friend all bundled up in blankets with red eyes and a runny nose.  _

_ His heart breaks a little as he places a hand on Seungcheol’s forehead, the latter shivering in response. “Sorry, I didn’t realise my hand was cold.” _

_ “I’s fined.” His friend responds, and Jeonghan can’t help but smile at the mispronunciation.  _

_ “Have you eaten anything? I bought some porridge in case you haven’t.” He brings out the plastic bowl from the bag he’d been carrying, still warm from being microwaved literally before he left the convenience store.  _

_ Seungcheol just shook his head, eyes suddenly shutting tight as the action he made just added onto his migraine. Jeonghan tuts, and was getting ready to reprimand his friend for not eating anything, but decides against it when another set of shivers rock through Seungcheol’s body.  _

_ “This is still warm, so I’ll just get a spoon then you can eat, okay?” _

_ Seungcheol mumbles something that sounded closer to a ‘yes’ than to a ‘no’, so Jeonghan quickly made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a spoon and a cup of water.  _

_ When he got back to the bedroom he wasn’t surprised to find that Seungcheol had already fallen asleep, soft snores escaping his slightly opened mouth.  _

_ Jeonghan sighs, he’s been doing that a lot lately. What with graduating college and getting a new job, it’s been pretty stressful.  _

_ He carefully sets down the things in his hands on the nightstand, then sits down on the floor next to the bed. Jeonghan just stares at his sleeping friend, his eyes darting back and forth from his eyes, his nose, and his parted lips. _

_ He knows it’s wrong, having feelings for his best friend.  _

_ But he couldn’t help but feel his heart strings tug at him when Seungcheol mumbles something in his sleep. Or whenever he leans his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. Or when he gives him that charming smile he’s always adored.  _

_ So Jeonghan keeps staring. From the eyes, to the nose, to the lips. Those pretty, pink lips. How can they stay so pink even when he’s sick? _

_ Jeonghan wonders what they taste like.  _

_ So when he finally realises he’s leaned in too close for comfort, it’s too late.  _

_ Seungcheol’s eyes flutter open, and they’re staring straight through his soul. Jeonghan feels his heart leap, but it’s not enough to make him pull away. He leans in closer, lips ghosting over his friend’s.  _

_ Then suddenly they were kissing. It’s gentle, just plush lips pushed against his.  _

_ Jeonghan’s question was finally answered, for when he pulled away, the sweet taste of strawberry lingered on his lips.  _

-

“Cheolie.” Jeonghan felt the air literally leak out of his lungs. 

In front of him stood the person he’d been actively avoiding for the past two years and a half. The person he’d sworn to himself never to see again. The person who stole his heart and never gave it back.

Choi Seungcheol. 

“I- I can’t believe it’s you. How are you?” He smiles at Jeonghan, albeit not quite reaching his eyes. But still enough to make his knees buckle the slightest bit. 

Jeonghan scratches his head, his heart still pounding in his chest but his common sense forcing him to utter out a reply. “I’m… just dandy.”

Seungcheol just stares at him for a moment, his big eyes scanning Jeonghan from head to toe, and for once in his life, Jeonghan feels like a hot mess. His hair is damp and sticking to his forehead, his clothes not faring any better. Oh, and his shoes still have water in them, which isn’t helping his aching and blistered feet at all. He feels miserable. 

Probably looks like it too. 

“Did you get caught in the rain?” Seungcheol finally asks, something akin to pity flashing in his eyes before disappearing just as quick as it came. Good to know he still remembers that Jeonghan hates being pitied. 

“Yeah. I- yeah.” 

Seungcheol gives a frown and furrows his eyebrows, a tell-tale sign that he’s thinking about something. Suddenly he’s shrugging off his coat and next thing he knows, Jeonghan feels warmer. 

“Wait, wha- Cheol, you don’t have to.” Jeonghan tried to shove the coat off but two hands firmly plant themselves on his shoulders, and the scent of men’s perfume suddenly engulfs him. 

Seungcheol is trying to look him in the eye, but leave it to Jeonghan to decide that he isn’t quite comfortable with that, and he would rather dig a hole six feet underground and die than be in this position right now. 

“I want to.” 

Jeonghan snaps his head up at the other’s words, which then leads to him making eye contact with Seungcheol and-

Wow. He’s forgotten how dreamy his eyes were.

Before he can give it another thought and think like a normal and rational person would, Jeonghan ends up blurting the first thing that pops in his head. 

“Do you wanna get a drink?”

-

They end up in a regular hole-in-the-wall barbecue place just a couple blocks away from the convenience store. Since Jeonghan didn’t bring anything else other than himself, they had to huddle close to each other under Seungcheol’s umbrella, the latter holding him close with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Jeonghan pretends it’s because they were running that his heart was beating way too fast the whole time. 

After placing an order for two sets of beef barbecue and soju, Jeonghan feels the anxiety bubble and boil in his stomach. He didn’t really think thus far - or think at all - when he asked Seungcheol for a drink. He didn’t even know what to expect. 

What do you even say to your ex-boyrfriend that you haven’t seen or heard from in two years?

“You look good.”

Apparently, said ex-boyfriend would be the one to start the conversation. Jeonghan feels a major migraine coming on. 

“Thanks. So do you.” 

The soju and shot glasses are served on their table and Jeonghan wastes no time in opening a bottle up and filling his glass. He takes a shot and lets out a groan as the alcohol burned a line down his throat. 

The person next to him clears his throat and Jeonghan kind of hates his luck today. When he turns to look at Seungcheol, the older is just giving him this weird look, like he’s saying _‘did I really date this idiot for three years?’_ before sighing and pouring Jeonghan another shot. 

“So, how’ve you been?” 

“I’m alright. I finally got promoted to Chief Superintendent a few months ago.” Jeonghan remembers that day like it was just yesterday, he remembers being called into the Chief Kang’s office and walking out with a new badge and teary eyes. The moment Joshua found out they immediately went out for drinks, and had a helluva hangover the next morning. Sometimes he _swears_ he can still taste bile in his throat.

Seungcheol’s expression brightens, his eyes light up and his smile is stuck on his face. “That’s amazing! You finally got what you’ve been dreaming about since college.” He grins again at Jeonghan and the latter couldn’t help but return it, feeling his lips immediately tug upwards when he saw how genuinely happy Seungcheol was for him. 

“What about you? Did you ever get that golden button or something?” Jeonghan teases, he knows what it’s called, but even two years later he still loves seeing the look of pure exasperation on the older’s face. 

Seungcheol takes his first shot, then clears his throat. “Uh, yeah, actually. I’ve just recently hit 3 million subscribers.”

“Wow! You finally did it, huh? I’m really happy for you, Cheolie.” 

They smile at each other, then silence overtakes them after that. 

Jeonghan suddenly finds himself reminiscing about their past relationship. Sure, it’s been two years since then, but you have to admit those three years of his life weren’t for nothing. 

-

An hour and five bottles of soju later, Jeonghan is well under the influence, giggling to whatever corny dad joke Seungcheol just said. The latter is also drunk; the bright red tips of his ears giving him away.

“Hey, hey, _hey_ -“ Seungcheol says, poking his cheek then suddenly just grabbing Jeonghan’s whole face. If he wasn’t so drunk right now, he’d probably be blushing and moving as far away from those cherry lips as possible. 

But since drunken Jeonghan is handling the ropes today, he completely forgets that it has been two and a half years since he and Seungcheol broke up, giggles slightly at the sight of those pink lips again, and hastily leans in. 

Seungcheol lets out a surprised groan at the sudden force on his lips, but soon returns the kiss. Well, more like two lips pressed together and clashing teeth. 

The kiss was quick, nothing serious. 

But when Jeonghan pulls away and realises what he’d just done, it’s like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped on him, and he immediately feels the regret and embarrassment kick in. 

"I- I am so, so, _so_ sorry, Cheol. I don't know what came over me I-" Jeonghan starts, but Seungcheol cuts him off anyway. 

"Don't apologise, it's fine. I let it happen anyway." He gives him a sweet smile, and honestly if he weren't so humiliated and ashamed right now, Jeonghan probably would've gone in for another kiss. 

Jeonghan only sighs, picking up his empty shot glass and rolling it between his palms. He was currently in the middle of trying not have to a mental breakdown when the guy in front of him just plucks out the last straw. 

"Hey, do you remember the night we broke up?"

Jeonghan sets down the glass and pours himself another shot of soju. 

-

_This week has been going unbelievably_ incredible _for Jeonghan._

_First of all, it's his and Seungcheol's third year anniversary this weekend, and he'd already made dinner reservations for the most ridiculously expensive restaurant in Seoul._

_Second, he'd been promoted to Chief Inspector yesterday. That meant a shiny new badge, a salary increase, and his old workload multiplied by seven. Okay, that last part will_ probably _suck big-time, but the first two were pretty great, so he couldn't really complain._

_He was just getting ready to head out and head home to his loving boyfriend, when his boss suddenly yells for him._

_"Detective Yoon! Get your ass in here!"_

_Jun shoots him a look from across his desk, probably saying something along the lines of '_ boy am I happy that ain't me.'

_Jeonghan frowns, setting down his coat and bag back on his desk and making his way across the room to Chief Constable Kang's office._

_"You called for me, chief?" Jeonghan pokes his head through the door after knocking._

_The grumpy man just glares at him and points to one of the chairs in front of the big desk._

_Chief Kang rounds the table, finally settling down on his huge leather office chair._

_"You've mentioned before that your life partner is famous on the internet, correct?" The grumpy man asks, one of his bushy, greying eyebrows raised at Jeonghan._

_"Yes, chief. My boyfriend is a famous gamer on YouTube. We've talked about this." Jeonghan says with a roll of his eyes, wanting nothing more than to get on the bus ride home to his aforementioned boyfriend._

_"Don't get too cocky with me now, Detective. Do you know how much danger you're putting your boyfriend in?"_

_That finally gets Jeonghan's attention. He's all eyes and ears now. "What? What_ danger _?"_

_The chief tuts, pulling open his one of his desk drawers. His hand reappears with a big cigar in it, then quietly tells Jeonghan to grab the lighter on the coffee table next to him._

_Jeonghan lights the old man's cigar, and patiently waits for him to continue. He knows he won't get anywhere with trying to force it out of him, he's tried that numerous times before._

_"You appear in a lot of his fancy dandy videos, don't you?"_

_"_ Yes _, but I don't understand what that- what_ Cheol _has to do with anyth-"_

 _"You track down and arrest some of the ugliest criminals this city's known. You've interrogated them for hours on end in the next room. They_ know _who you are, Yoon. How long do you think it'll take before one of them comes across one of y'er boyfriend's videos and sees_ you _in it? Next thing you know, you'll come home to an empty home and a ransom note."_

 _Jeonghan felt his heart drop six floors down. Just thinking of coming home from a long day of crime-solving and finding his boyfriend had been kidnapped, or god forbid,_ killed _, sends shivers down his spine and the ugliest images in his mind._

_"Then, then I'll just have him delete all his videos with me in it, they'll never even find out abo-"_

_"Son, you know better than I do about technology. Do you really think deleting the videos will stop them from finding any information about your relationship?"_

_Jeonghan forces down the lump in his throat. "So, what are you saying?"_

_"You already know what I'm saying, son. You're smart, and you love him, don't you?"_

_He nods. Of course he does. He's been doing it for three years now._

_"Then you know what you have to do, right?"_

_Jeonghan avoids his eyes._

_He hears his boss get up from his chair sighing, and then there's a sturdy hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, son. Sometimes, you need make the biggest sacrifices just to protect the people you love. I know it's hard, but you know it's for the best."_

_Jeonghan walks out of the station with hazy eyes and a fuzzy mind._

_When he gets home, he was expecting to be greeted by a warm hug and a kiss on the lips._

_Not two suitcases in the doorway._

_"Cheol?" He calls out, struggling to get his right shoe off when his boyfriend finally walks out into the hallway._

_His eyes are bloodshot, the usual light in them nowhere to be found._

_And his lips, they're pale._

_Not the usual strawberry pink he's used to seeing._

_"What are you-? What's with the suitcases?"_

_Seungcheol stays quiet for a while, not meeting Jeonghan's desperate gaze. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, before finally saying the words that would bring Jeonghan's whole world down._

_"I- I think we should break up."_

_And just like that, Jeonghan's oh-so perfect week crashes down on him like debris off a crumbling building; hard and heavy and unexpected._

_"Oh."_

_They just stand there for a moment. Staring at each other._

_Jeonghan wonders what in the living hell he did to have all of this happen to him. To them. They were fine._

_They were_ happy _._

_What happened?_

_After what seemed like an eternity, Seungcheol clears his throat, hiking up the backpack swung on his shoulders - that Jeonghan didn't even notice until now - grabbing his suitcases and pushing past him without another word._

_He doesn't even hear the door slam shut behind him, his thoughts deafening enough to shut out the sounds of his laboured breathing._

_When the first tear slides down his cheek, Jeonghan realises he never even got to kiss him one last time._

_He regrets not being the one to utter those words first._

_He regrets coming home at all._

_He regrets wasting those three years._

_He regrets loving Seungcheol._

_-_

"How can I forget? You left without a good bye." Jeonghan mutters bitterly, before downing another shot. 

Seungcheol just lets out a heavy sigh, his head hanging low. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

Jeonghan lets out a chuckle. That wasn't the apology he was expecting two years ago, but he figures it's enough. 

"I was supposed to break up with you first, you know?"

The older's head snaps up, eyes wide and awake, if Jeonghan didn't know any better, he might've even thought he was sober. 

"What?" Seungcheol nearly shouts. Yep, definitely drunk. 

"Yeah. My boss wanted to break us up so I could protect you. But you beat me to it and ran away with my heart."

Neither of them utter a word after that, the alcohol remains untouched, too. 

Jeonghan hates the silence. 

"Do you regret it, Cheolie?"

He looks over to the man in front of him. The man he loved all those years ago.

The man he's still madly in love with. 

"Regret what?"

"Breaking my heart."

Jeonghan may be a detective, but nothing in his countless years of training could've prepared him for the look Seungcheol gives him. 

Seungcheol smiles, those big brown eyes crinkling in the corners. 

He can see the stars shine in them.

And those lips.

Those pink lips looking so, so beautiful. 

"I don't."

**Author's Note:**

> hello! 
> 
> after two months of writer's block, i'm finally back, this time with a jeongcheol angst. hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it :))
> 
> leave a kudos and comment your thoughts about it! i love seeing your reactions :)) 
> 
> thanks for reading!


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